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Sunday, October 19, 2014

Reflections


I know it's been a few days since my last post, and I apologize for that. It's been pretty hectic around here. Montage Theatre of Dance has a performance tomorrow at Belhaven University, as part of their Belhaven Community Dance Concert. Plus we've had Power Point presentations for classes this week, we've been working on our pieces for the end-of-the-semester performance of Willie Wonka and the C&C Dance Chocolate Factory, and I've just been busy being a mom. 


This post is really about some reflections I've had this week. I've had some time to just sit down by myself and reflect on my life. Heavy, I know, but it happens. I guess it's because of my birthday.

Friday I turned 38, and I've kind of been looking back on my life and what I've accomplished thus far. At first, I didn't think it was a whole lot to be proud of, but then, I changed my mind. Even though I've had some bumps in the road, I have truly accomplished some amazing things.


 



 

I started dancing when I was 5 years old. Taking ballet class with my best friend. See, my best friend's mom asked my mom to watch her after school. As payment for this babysitting, she paid for my ballet lessons. I absolutely loved it! The grace, the beauty, the elegance! It all just appealed to me. As I grew older, I continued my journey through dance, and fell even more in love with it.


 



 

I've danced numerous places: Texas, Germany, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Sweden, Paris, and London. Just to name a few. I've had so much fun dancing, teaching and learning over the years. I just can't wait to see where dance takes me next!


 



 

Dance has taken me so many places, allowed me so many opportunities, and given me so much. I don't know what I'd do without it in my life. My next big undertaking is to get my Masters in Education in Dance. Wish me luck! And, any advice on the best way to do this in Jackson, MS would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to go into debt for this, so I will be looking to do it somewhere I can get scholarships or grants.


 

Anyway... Dance has enriched my life in so many ways. Without dance, I wouldn't be where I am today, doing what I love so much. As an adjunct dance instructor, I get to share my knowledge and love of dance with young people every day. I work with amazing people, whom I have grown to love and admire. I also get to perform in some amazing work unlike anything I've ever done before. Dance has allowed me to make connections in my life that have lead me to be able to do what I love every day. I get to wake up every morning knowing I get to dance and teach. Two things I love more than anything.


 

This leads me to my greatest accomplishments to date. These are my roles as wife and mother. I have the most amazing husband a girl could ask for. He loves me more than I think I deserve to be loved. I never thought I would ever be in a relationship with a man who loves me the way my husband loves me. He is my world. He has my heart, and he protects my heart with everything in him.  I know, each morning I wake up, I get to live life with the man of my dreams.  The man who would do anything for me, but needs do nothing more than love me. He is my heart.


My husband gave me the most precious gift of my life, our beautiful daughter. She is our miracle. After I had my miscarriage last spring, I was worried I'd never be able to have a child. I thought I was too old, that my body would never support a pregnancy. I was depressed and withdrew into myself. I thought it was my fault, and I wasn't worthy of being a mom. My husband showed me I was a beautiful, wonderful woman who deserved more than anything to be a mom. He assured me that I would be a mom, no matter how we did it.


 

This past June, I gave birth to our miracle. She is the light of our lives. She is my greatest accomplishment. I would do anything for this little girl. So would my husband. We waited so long for her. We will do whatever we have to do in order to make sure she grows and learns and loves and laughs.


As I reflect back on my years thus far, I realize everything that has happened to me has lead me to this moment in time. Every heartache, every disappointment, every accomplishment, every victory, every failure, has lead me to this. My greatest role in life. Being a mom.